Please hold, I have someone on the other line.
You thought the world had stopped using land-line telephones years ago, right? You were wrong.
Like retired English couples, and migratory Godwits – it turns out they all just came to New Zealand to die.
So why, in the 2nd decade of the new millennium, do New Zealanders still talk to each other on such a dated piece of technology? Are we especially susceptible to microwave radiation this close to the South Pole? Or is the New Zealand accent so bad we can’t even understand ourselves without a crystal clear line?
No. The truth is, we never had a choice. Although it’s not for want of trying.
In fact, since the 1980s -those heady days of Gloss and brick-handsets that look like field phones from M.A.S.H – New Zealand has been desperate to go mobile. Desperate to stay technologically apace with the rest of the world. And desperate to be able to reply, “no look, see, we have mobile phones too,” to the boast-deflating statement, “yes, you’ve already told me about Eftpos, like, a hundred times.”
But New Zealand is a victim of it’s own size. With a population that for most of the last 20 years could support 2 or less players in the mobile network market, competition to drive down call prices has been about as serious as a commitment from Millie Elder to stay off P.
And although the situation appears to be marginally improving (there are now 3 mobile networks, after comedian and robot impersonator Rhys Darby started one in 2009), call charges are still so ball-retractingly high, that the typical mobile phone conversation in New Zealand goes something like this;
(ring ring, click) ”G’day.. yep… yep… ok, shut up… Bye.” (click, dial tone)
Which means that the only way to have a meaningful conversation in New Zealand, still, is to use a landline. Or possibly a fax machine.
Fortunately, for those Kiwis who clung on for a reason to own a cellphone, text-messaging, introduced in the late 1990s, presented an affordable option that, unlike a owning a pager, wouldn’t get you beaten up for being a tool. However this lead to an unusual sort of feedback loop in the marketing of mobile phone plans. Vodafone and Telecom, noticing the popularity of text messaging, took this to mean that Kiwis must be just ‘mad for texting’ (not that the outrageous call charges simply left them no other choice) and started building impossibly high text allowances into their monthly plans.
Even today, consumers are faced with a choice, for around $30 a month on the major networks, between either 20 minutes of inclusive call minutes, or something like 6000 free text messages. And while you could quite comfortably blow the call allowance everyday just waiting for the phone to pick up, even a 13 yo girl with 3 thumbs and a new boyfriend couldn’t get through 6000 texts a month.
So until such time as New Zealanders get the sort of unlimited mobile call plans on offer to the rest of the world, don’t be alarmed if you hear an unusual sound coming from the hall of many New Zealand homes. A sound that may be eerily familiar to you, as that classic mobile ringtone ‘Old Telephone’.
Chances are it is, in fact, an actual old telephone.
fake hermes birkin uk The Land Line Telephone | Kiwianarama
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Spot on with this write-up, I actually assume this website needs rather more consideration. Ill in all probability be again to read rather more, thanks for that info.
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Long live landlines! The sound quality is better and you don’t get radiation flooding into your brain as with cordless phones.
I need to buy a new land line cordless telephone. Nothing to fancy, just a basic cordless phone with built in answering machine. Which retail stores should I check out?
Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last few posts have been kinda boring… I miss your super writings. Past several posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!
I hope soon in New Zealand you can enjoy of SMS as much as we do in the USA. Text Marketing is big over here.
I hope soon in New Zealand you can enjoy of SMS as much as we do in the USA. Text Marketing is big over here.
I love this shit.
As an expat in NZ, its so great to witness some actual self-irony from kiwis. Great stuff!
Sad to say, but there actually are 13-year-olds who text 200 times per day
Oh! really fantastic and great news. Thanks to the people of New Zealand who still live their way of living style and common daily uses things.
I came to this site by looking on Yahoo. I have found it quite interesting. Thanks for writing about this. I will have to come back here again!
this is a great website, NZ? i love it here, its choice and its home, but we can be dorks and Im glad someone is making us laugh at ourselves, a person from canada i know put me onto this website, she must be wetting herself at our dorkiness and this website is brilliant….keep it up…..
can you do a topic on corollas perhaps? or “[enter hobby/foodgroup/beverage/place of interest here] festival” festivals…or are they done? and last decade? probably are….keep it up though team, youre choice
I was just talking with my coworker about this last week at lunch . Don’t know how we landed on the subject actually , they brought it up. I do recall having a amazing chicken salad with cranberries on it. I digress…
Dear you lot.
I think I quite like you, your writing and your site. My first thought upon reaching your blog (via comments on mensflair.com) was ‘wow, they hate everything’. Then I remembered that I hate everything too, and grew much more comfortable with your writing style.
Yours, Jess
Thank you Jess. It’s a love/hate relationship. There’s a deep fondness there, but a little mockery is good for the national identity. Provided we can take it on the chin.
S